How Do You Write a Book Telling a Story That You Don’t Recall?

Anyone looking for a hint at the pathetic irrelevance that will likely characterize George W. Bush’s post-presidential life need look no further than Alberto Gonzales.

Gonzo, still apparently unable to find a job, now says he’s writing a book that will set the record straight about all those things he couldn’t recall during his testimony before Congress. Unfortunately, he still doesn’t seem to remember much, as he offered these gems (with my emphasis) during a recent interview:

What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong, that deserves this kind of response to my service?

and

. . . for some reason, I am portrayed as the one who is evil in formulating policies that people disagree with. I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror.

So I guess the book is going to include painstaking detail about how Gonzo had his “credibility” blown off by a roadside bomb? Too bad the Walter Reed Hospital couldn’t get the funding for that new “self esteem wing” they’ve been trying to build!

Of course, there’s also this:

Mr. Gonzales, 53 years old, doesn't have a publisher for his book. He said he is writing it if only "for my sons, so at least they know the story."

I guess it’s a little hard to find a publisher when you can’t demonstrate that you remember the story you are pitching to them.

Perhaps, after he’s finished documenting his recollection of the time he spent in the Bush Justice Department and is ready to lovingly present the book to his sons, he should go ahead and throw in a box of crayons!