Friday, May 25, 2007

OK, I’ll Bite: What If Monica Goodling Were a Muslim?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

This is really lame! On the conservative blog, Newsbusters, one writer speculates about what would happen if Republicans “interrogated” a Muslim like Steve Cohen (D-Tenn) grilled Monica Goodling about her attendance at Pat Robertson’s Regent University.

You can read it if you've got the stomach, but I'll give you the gist: He changes their exact conversation by substituting Islamic references for Christian ones, and then wonders how the media would react. Ooh, how clever! Based on the Republican MO, I’m guessing the grilling of a Muslim Monica Goodling by a Republican Congressman would go something like this:
Republican Congressman: Did you attend a Muslim college?

Muslim Goodling: Huh?

Republican Congressman: I’m over here, Ms. Goodling – the good looking old, fat white guy! Did you or did you not attend a Muslim college?

Muslim Goodling: Yes, I did.

Republican Congressman: Why do you hate America?

Muslim Goodling: I don’t.

Republican Congressman: Did you break the law by allowing your religious and political views to affect hiring decisions?

Muslim Goodling: Well, I . . . I . . . I, um, I crossed the line, but I didn’t mean to.

Republican Congressman: Oh, yeah?

Muslim Goodling: Hey, why are you putting that bag over my head?

Republican Congressman: Tell us what we want to know, you evildoer!

Muslim Goodling: Glug glug, gasp, glug glug!

Republican Congressman: Hey Cannon, hand me those fingernail pliers, will ya?

Muslim Goodling: I’ve already told you everything I know!

Republican Congressman: Why are you plotting to harm David Gregory’s children? Tell us! TELL US!!!!

Muslim Goodling: My hair, watch the hair! I worked really hard on this. I want to talk to my attorney!

Republican Congressman: You’ll see your attorney as soon as the State Department authorizes him to visit you . . . in your new spiderhole in Kazakhstan!!!

Muslim Goodling: But I’m a kind person who just wants to serve Allah! I was class president at my madrassa, you know.

Republican Congressman: Shut up and answer my questions! You think I’m good looking, don’t you? Did you know that I was the Attorney General of my State? Have you heard about the horrible things Murtha did?

Muslim Goodling: Sigh!

Also at Daily Kos.

1 comment:

  1. Love the reference to David Gregory's children. Do the troops know that they are in harms way to protect the spawn of David Gregory? I don't think that is what they signed up for.