As George W. Bush winds down the last 53 days of his presidency, it seems he’s desperately trying to come up with a positive legacy for which he can be remembered. With 9/11, Iraq, Katrina, and a failed economy among the long list of disasters that occurred on his watch, it’s a tough task. So far, the best he and his supporters seem to be able to come up with is the assertion that he “prevented” any additional terrorist attacks on American soil.
In the spirit of holiday giving, I’m going to help Bush out and give him some additional ideas that he can claim as successes during his presidency, as I present the Top Ten Bush Accomplishments (Besides Preventing Terrorist Attacks on U.S. Soil Since 9/11):
10. Kept the U.S. Economy from completely collapsing during the last month since it completely collapsed.
9. Effectively prevented the rapid spread of teen vampirism.
8. Not one meteor landed in a major American city.
7. Headed off virtually all instances of baby abduction by Sasquatch.
6. Cleared out the nation’s vast oversupply of flag draped coffins.
5. Maintained America’s extensive system of gravity.
4. Created thousands of government jobs left undone.
3. Kept the time running on time.
2. Made great strides in promoting the idea that even special-needs children can grow up to be President.
And the top Bush Accomplishment (Besides Preventing Terrorist Attacks on U.S. Soil Since 9/11):
1. United the world with the majority of Americans in counting down the days until Obama’s inauguration.