I’ve always thought that Rod Serling was way, way ahead of his time. His classic Twilight Zone episodes were brilliant in their ability to force their protagonists - and consequently his audience - to face a moral dilemma and experience the consequences of failing to control evil impulses.
As I recently watched Rush Limbaugh mocking Michael J. Fox during his radio show, I suddenly realized that now should have been Rod Serling’s time! In fact, if Rod Serling were currently pulling the strings here on Earth, we might have the pleasure of experiencing some stories like these:
- Rush Limbaugh would slowly watch himself develop symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease.
- George Allen would wake up one morning, look in the mirror and see the face of Kenneth Blackwell (while Kenneth Blackwell would be looking at the other side of the mirror and seeing the back end of George Allen’s horse!)
- Dick Cheney’s cardiologist would tell him that his only chance to avoid another fatal heart attack would be a new experimental treatment that involved being strapped to a board and doused with water.
- Donald Rumsfeld would be knocked unconscious, only to wake up and find himself in a foxhole next to Pat Tillman.
- One by one, every person in Bill O’Reilly’s world would remove a rubber mask and reveal themself to be a clone of Keith Olbermann.
- Condoleeza Rice would appear at a career counselor’s office, and realize that her resume was only impressive enough to qualify her for work at a Wal-Mart.
O.K., I'll give it a shot.
ReplyDeleteOur Dear Leader is on the Ranch in Crawford, on vacation (as usual), clearing a lttle brush. George shuts down the chainsaw, and motions one of his cadre of Secret Service agents over. Thinking that the Prez is thirsty, the agent jogs over with a canteen of martinis, but when he reaches the Commander in Chief, Mr. President says to him "Agent Curly (the clever nickname bestowed upon the bald agent by the most powerful man in the world), pull my finger." Agent Curly dutifully complies, and the President cuts loose a resounding fart, and starts giggling loudly. Suddenly, a six foot diamondback, roused by the commotion, lunges up out of the bushes and sinks his fangs right into the Presidential crotch!
The giggling stops. "Agent Curly, help me out here" rasps the President. "Come over here and suck the poison out of the Bush family jewels." The giggling starts again, but this time, it's the Secret Service agents. Clutching his rapidly swelling balls and gasping in pain and disbelief, the President crumples to the ground...
He awakens to the sound of water lapping-up against a building. It's hot. Humid. It smells like an open sewer. The (former?) President opens his eyes. He's on the roof of a small house. Siloueted against the glaring sun, he sees a kind-faced, elderly man staring down at him. The man holds out a hammer.
"C'mon George, these houses ain't gonna rebuild themselves. We have the whole city of New Orleans ahead of us."
President Carter drops the hammer on President Bush's now softball-sized testicles, and allows himself a modest giggle. Fade to black.
Hey, that was kinda fun! Serling had a pretty good gig.
That's so easy - Bush would be declared an Enemy Combatant and be sent to Quantanimo where he would rot.
ReplyDelete