Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Need a Good Laugh?

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In case you are feeling deprived from a lack of funny video clips from the recent White House Correspondents' Dinner - as last year’s hilarious performance by Stephen Colbert was followed up this year by the dreadfully dull (and I would have guessed already embalmed) Rich Little - here’s something to fill the void:

John “The Next Domino” Doolittle has posted this lengthy list of “unprecedented attacks on his character,” along with “the facts that dispute them.”

Here’s my personal favorite:
ATTACK: Congressman Doolittle won’t return campaign contributions from Mr. Abramoff, his clients or associates.

FACT: John refuses to give even the slightest appearance that he may have done something wrong by returning money that was accepted legally and ethically. He won’t give credence to claims that he has taken tainted money, no matter how much the media tries to pressure him to do so.
Brilliant, Einstein! You won’t give credence to the appearance that you may have done something wrong by giving back tainted money, but you’ll give credence to it by posting a 2300 word manifesto restating everything bad that has ever been said about you or your wife, along with petulant, defensive responses to each of them!

Like this one:
ATTACK: A former staff member named Kevin Ring left Congressman Doolittle’s office to go work for Mr. Abramoff and then turned around and lobbied the congressman.

FACT: Kevin Ring worked for John as a legislative aide and then legislative director for about three years starting around 1994. When he left the office, he held two other jobs before going to work for Jack Abramoff, including working for former Senator John Ashcroft. Years passed between the time he left Doolittle’s staff and when he worked for Mr. Abramoff.
Years passed? That's your defense? So Ring had a couple of other jobs before he began lobbying you on behalf of Abramoff? I don't think the speed at which he "turned around" is your problem, Mr Congressman!

Read the whole thing. It’s a riot!

1 comment:

  1. Lost Wages Joe11:00 AM

    Doolittle is the living embodiment of the old saying "we get the government we deserve". Why his district would choose him over a very good, and really quite moderate Democratic candidate (Charles Brown) is beyond me. He's almost as much as an embarassment to California as Bush is to the country!