As John McCain travels the country, furiously trying to define himself on his own terms, it must be pointed out that you are defined not just by what you say, but by what you do. Or, to be more accurate, by how you seem to those looking at what you do and say.
So, in that spirit, I thought I'd offer up a few potential definitions based on how John McCain seems to me:
John McCain is the guy who says he's your friend, while he steals your stuff and gives it to his real friends to get them to like him.
John McCain is plain Cream of Wheat every morning for breakfast.
John McCain is the old guy who still teaches traffic school at the American Legion Hall.
John McCain is George Bush's intellect but with more time to have forgotten what he once knew.
John McCain is all the Batman villains rolled into one.
John McCain is the high school gym coach who laughs when you get hit in the nuts while playing dodgeball.
John McCain is the sound (and feel) of your own fingernails on a blackboard that is just out of arms reach.
John McCain is the guy who takes up adjacent handicapped spaces to pick up his dry cleaning so his wife won't yell at him for getting door dings on her Lexus.
John McCain is the recurring dream where you are being chased while running in quicksand.
John McCain is Bob Dole on
And if slightly less than a thousand words don't say it, here's a small modification of the above unedited pic from Reuters that does: