Wednesday, January 16, 2008
A Message to You, Rudy! [Updated]
Rudy Giuliani has been the national frontrunner for the GOP nomination for nearly a year, and yet after four primaries he still hasn’t finished higher than fourth place, or broken 10 percent of the vote in any primary.
In Michigan yesterday, he got only 3 percent of the vote. That’s only half the percentage gained by racist "loonitarian," Ron Paul, 1 percent less than Grandpa Fred, and only 1 percent more than “Uncommitted!”
To put it in perspective, consider that for every 3 GOP voters who chose Giuliani in Michigan, there were 2 other voters who braved the harsh winter weather to go down to the polls and check the box for “Uncommitted!”
Yet there is always hope! Mitt finally won a primary after devoting all of his resources to the State shaped most like him (well, his name anyway!)
Now, Rudy is essentially going to try the same thing in Florida!
(music by: The Specials)
[Update] Just in case you were wondering, I'm not a scab writer for The Colbert Report: