Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Message to You, Rudy! [Updated]

Rudy Giuliani has been the national frontrunner for the GOP nomination for nearly a year, and yet after four primaries he still hasn’t finished higher than fourth place, or broken 10 percent of the vote in any primary.

In Michigan yesterday, he got only 3 percent of the vote. That’s only half the percentage gained by racist "loonitarian," Ron Paul, 1 percent less than Grandpa Fred, and only 1 percent more than “Uncommitted!”

To put it in perspective, consider that for every 3 GOP voters who chose Giuliani in Michigan, there were 2 other voters who braved the harsh winter weather to go down to the polls and check the box for “Uncommitted!”


Yet there is always hope! Mitt finally won a primary after devoting all of his resources to the State shaped most like him (well, his name anyway!)

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Now, Rudy is essentially going to try the same thing in Florida!

(music by: The Specials)

[Update] Just in case you were wondering, I'm not a scab writer for The Colbert Report:

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