Saturday, December 24, 2005

Born Again.... Again: My Christmas Gift to George Bush

Dear George,

At the mid point of your life you were a miserable failure. You had been a lousy student, a drunk, an AWOL National Guardsman, a failed businessman and your family was in shambles. The day after your 40th birthday, Laura threatened to take the kids and leave you forever. That is when you found your lord and personal savior Jesus Christ and turned your life around.

Now I'm not one of your biggest fans and should be the last one to give you advice, but because it is the holiday season and I woke up in a giving mood, I am going to offer some.

Mr. Bush, it is time for you to become born again....again. I don't really believe that you suddenly found Jesus the first time, but whatever happened seemed to work for you. At least it worked for a while. But whatever it was, isn't working anymore. Your successes have now turned to controversy, scandal and tragic failures. Thousands of U.S. and Iraqi citizens perished on your watch, and the polls show that 60% of your own country and most of the world don't like you anymore.

So here is my solution. Admit that you were wrong. Ask for Cheney's resignation and then fire your entire cabinet. Blame it all on them. We all know that it was their fault anyway. You were just going along. They are the evil ones, not you. Tell the American people that you are sorry....very sorry, then go about changing the bad decisions that Cheney and Rove forced you to make.

You came to this realization once in your life Mr. President. Now it is time to see the truth again.

I think these actions are the only way to save your presidency, and it can only work because for some inexplicable reason many still want to like you. But at this point you have pushed the American people to the end of our "collective rope", and just like Laura we are about to take our country and leave you forever. So what do you say George? Can I get an Amen!

One last piece of advice. Next time don't wait until you have made a complete mess of everything before deciding to repent. Your life will go much smoother if in the future you recognize your mistakes and fix them along the way instead of letting them multiply to such colossal proportions.

Happy Holidays



  1. This is brilliant. I'd post this on dkos, because it should be widely read.

    I fixed a there-their problem that I happened to notice. Hard to find time for editing on Christmas Eve

  2. oh! write very good... from Thailand

  3. Giraffe11:03 AM

    I do hope many get to read this. It shows a shred of kindness to old George that I haven't gotten from this blog in the past.
    Just a shred.

  4. And a shred is probably all you are going to get!

  5. Excellently done!

  6. Giraffe2:31 PM

    Will George Bush and Company have to face their savage deeds in an international criminal court?

    Going in to Iraq was a crime of aggression, no born again can justify that move.

    The truth will come out when the unity of the bloggers is stronger than the wickedness of the White House.

  7. See, Bush is now at the point in this affair, just like he has been in the past, where he's lost and waiting for his dad's friends to come and bail him out. DWI, series of businesses, the "brother in law" deal with the Texas Rangers....

    If he hasn't learned by now not to trust his own sense, I wouldn't expect him to suddenly start. Our only hope is that the realists from Bush I can step in and clean house.