Saturday, December 03, 2005

Why Does Bill O’Reilly Hate Happy Holidays?


There are a few things that we as American’s hold dear. Baseball, apple pie and the right to drive gigantic gas guzzling SUV’s. The one thing however, that working Americans can’t live without is “Happy Holidays”.

For some reason, with all that is wrong with the world, Bill O’Reilly has decided that he is on a crusade to do away with “Happy Holidays”.

All of us who work for a living and get two weeks of vacation per year eagerly look forward to holidays. It is golden time. I guess that is something highly-paid television anchors like Bill O’Reilly just can’t understand. His million-dollar contract probably allows for lots of time off.

The term “Happy Holidays” is also a good one, its friendly. It can be used in a multitude of situations - as a greeting on the telephone or to acknowledge someone as you pass them on the street while shopping. But what is best about “Happy Holidays” is that it refers to more than one day.

That’s more than one day that I will be paid for not being at work.

We must save Happy Holidays!

Now, I would be the first to admit that in America we celebrate a few less than worthy days. What is Arbor Day all about? I could do without that one. And, Valentine’s Day has sometimes left me in a bit of a lurch. I could let that one go too. But under no circumstances am I willing to give up my Happy Holidays.

Remember, I am just looking out for you.

P.S. Thinking ahead, I have purchased my wife’s Valentines Day present early this year – one enormous loofah.

2 comments:

  1. Giraffe6:28 AM

    He's probably got a fake holiday tree and definitely gone to the dark side.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous7:21 PM

    Happy Holidays my ass...I'm agnostic and even i say Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete