Friday, November 04, 2005

Vaccinate Against What?

Whenever George Bush faces a crisis he and Karl Rove open up their big bag of distractions and try to deflect the nation's attention. Prior to the 2004 election the favorite was the Terror Stop light. I still haven't figured out how yellow terror feels any different than orange terror. But this tactic was tried and true. Bush would drop in the polls and suddenly there would be a new terror threat - reminding us that the only thing keeping us safe at night was Georges "War On Terra".

The last couple of months have been tough on old George. It seems the scandals have been lining up one after the other. His poll numbers now in the mid-30's. His big bag of distractions is just about empty and the terror stop light - broken - just blinking red.

So the administration came up with a new distraction - The Bird Flu. They figure that sounds scary and lets George over-emphasize words in his speeches like PAN-DEM-IC. He even read a book about the 1918 outbreak that killed millions world-wide. Its really quite hard to imagine ............. No not that many people dying - but George actually reading a book.

The big flaw in the logic of this distraction is that while Bird Flu is a concern and a risk that medical science needs to focus on - George Bush doesn't really believe in science.

Most experts say that we are several mutations away from Avian Flu jumping easily from human to human. Several mutations ..... over time .......adapting....... and changing.
In other words EV-O-LU-TION.

So there it is - our president wants us to be scared of evolution - another thing that Mr. Bush doesn't really believe in. And to prove it he wants our public schools to teach Intelligent Design. The evangelical theory that God creates everything as it is, just as planned.

So - if I've got this right, our President is now asking our nations top medical scientists to create giant stockpiles of vaccines against God.

I think that'll work.


  1. Beautiful! This is my favorite post ever on this site.

    I think Bush's existence is as good an argument against intelligent design as we've got!

    BTW, you should edit spelling of "emphasize" and I would capitalize "God"

  2. Anonymous4:10 PM

    The Catholic church seems to already be working on their own vaccine.